I’m not going to start as usual, excusing myself for not writing more often, but in the end, I do excuse myself to myself. I don’t expect anyone’s sympathy, but I do have to say that I miss myself—the inner me who spits out all the little shits and puts them here, on this blog. It’s that inner me who tells the truth, the transparent Nuria, the one who is always there, honest with herself, cheerful and accommodating. The one who, when writing, silences the external Nuria so she doesn’t interrupt and lets the words flow freely. I start, as always, without saying what I’m going to talk about, but I always end up where I want to go. Today, I hope you join me.

Today, I’ll be brief because it’s late, and I’m really sleepy. So,here we go… I started taking theater classes because I love trying new things, because, even though it may not seem like it, I’m very shy, and because this acting thing is slowly becoming something I like too much. I think it wouldn’t hurt to be a little prepared, even though I’m already the best actress in the world because I have the lead role in my life, which is a tragic soap opera but with a musical comedy vibe and a touch of science fiction. And I’m really good at it, I’m natural and I react perfectly in every genre.

Anyway, back to what I was saying: theater classes. They go and tell me to prepare a damn monologue for the first day! Are we crazy? The idea of taking theater classes is that you explain what a monologue is and help me present one, but no… nothing, Nuria, headfirst with a monologue on the first day.

And I thought, where am I going to get a monologue from? What genre should I do? What will suit me best? I mean, I’m funny, but I can also be tragic and mysterious… I searched online and, phew, I got a bit overwhelmed. I looked up famous scenes, but I thought: “Umm, Nuria, for your first monologue, don’t go biting off more than you can chew, like doing monologues from Oscar-winning movies, hahaha!” Then I thought: “I’ll do it in English so nobody understands anything and it doesn’t matter if I mess up…” And I kept thinking and thinking… until I finally thought…

“Nuria, damn it! Write your own damn monologue! Pick a situation from your life—you have so many. It doesn’t matter what genre, it doesn’t matter what language… let your inner Nuria, the one who writes so well, work her magic and write an awesome monologue, talking about anything. Because, in the end, that inner Nuria knows what’s best for you and will make you shine with her magical words. So here we are, at the point where I, the inner Nuria, demand that the external Nuria write the perfect monologue…”

And that’s when I thought about what the monologue of my life would be, what powerful, unforgettable, funny, mysterious words I would say. This f***g blog is an extended monologue that drags along every word, phrase, and situation I live through day by day and that I always share with you without shame or filters. Everyone has their internal monologue, and sometimes it’s better to keep it that way, internal, buried inside us so only we can savor it. Saying what you feel and what you think always brings responsibilities and issues that, sometimes, you don’t want to face, not with anyone and especially not with yourself. So, the monologue of my life I’ll keep for myself, deep within me; I’ll repeat it as many times as necessary, I’ll rehearse until it’s perfect.

What’s your monologue? What do you want to convey to yourself?