I’m a few weeks late in writing on this beloved blog that has accompanied me online for many years and has existed offline for even longer. I write here because I enjoy it, because I want to share my thoughts with all of you (even though I know blogs are in decline and videos have taken over, I still feel compelled to write). Today, I want to talk about something I’ve been thinking about for months, and I hope that by putting it in writing, it will give me some clarity… or at least, I hope so. So, without further ado, let’s begin.

I’ve spent years trying to understand myself, learn from myself, figure out what I want, what I don’t, what I need, what’s right, what I should do, and what I shouldn’t. I’m constantly searching within myself for that elusive thing I’m always looking for but still haven’t found. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to delve into oneself with so much external noise—news, rumors, TikToks.

I love reading or watching videos on the same topic and seeing the myriad of positive or negative opinions on it. In the end, you realize that the only one who really knows what you need or don’t, or what’s right or not, is you. The problem is that even when we know what we should do, other people’s opinions—family, friends, society—sometimes hold us back because of the “what will they say,” and even though we hear our inner voice, we bury it and silence it so we can fit in. And this, little by little, causes our inner voice to go silent forever, rusting our desires and breaking our souls. There’s no turning back; we end up walking through life like lost souls, broken and aimless, following the masses into infinity.

Yeah, yeah, haha, damn it, I’m getting to the point, you know I take my time, but I always get there. I titled this post “Confusion or Passion” because I’ve asked myself that question my whole life: Is the passion I feel just confusion about what I want, or is it really what I want? I mean, what I feel may not be what’s best for me, but it’s what makes me feel good and alive. But is that what I should do? I mean, someone could have a passion for drinking, and we know that’s not going to end well, even if it’s their passion. So, how do I know if my passion is my duty? Who can tell me?

I know, it’s me, I’m the only one who has the final say, who makes the final decisions. What I’m trying to do now, at almost 56 years old (one month to go, ehhh!), is make decisions based on that inner voice that I silenced years ago, that I destroyed and left alone, locked away in the abyss. That’s the voice I want to answer all my doubts because I know it will tell me the truth, my truth, and by listening to its whispers, it will give me the strength to fight my doubts and prejudices and forget about what others might say.

So, I’ve started to unearth that little voice (it’s hard because I buried it deep), but little by little, it’s whispering to me, and I like what it’s saying. It’s encouraging me, and I can hear it more clearly every day. I know that, in time, it will stop whispering and will shout at me so loudly that it will push me to fulfill my passion and lead me to my destiny.

I encourage you to unearth your inner voice, say goodbye to the “what will they say,” and do what the hell you want. Bye, hahaha!