When I started these chronicles, I wasn’t sure if I’d have enough material to share with you every week, but every day that passes, I learn something new, remember something, something happens, or I simply imagine something. And this is how these chronicles were born, which now are not only part of my days but also part of yours. Today, I don’t know why, but the topic of fashion popped into my mind. It might be because I came across all my mother’s clothes, shoes, and jewelry, and I need to do something with it. This made me reflect on many things… Want to know what things? Read on, my friends.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve changed my style a thousand times throughout my life. Although I have my own essence, I’ve always liked trying different fashion styles—whether elegant, sexy, or hippie. I think when I was younger, I dared to try almost anything. But, Nuria, let’s get to the point, what does this have to do with the Caregiver Chronicles? Ah, how impatient you are! You won’t even let me start with an introduction. Gosh, you cut me off! Well, as I was saying, throughout your lives, I’m sure you’ve adjusted your looks, whether because you’ve gained weight, lost weight, or because you feel comfortable in a particular fashion style over another. Whatever the reason, if you keep clothes from season to season, one day you’ll wake up, look at your wardrobe, and say, “Why did I buy this?” or “What was I thinking when I wore this?” (well, maybe I’m just speaking for myself).

Okay, now here comes the caregiver part. Every age is a stage, and we have to adjust our style, don’t we? I mean, why do you have to change your style when you get older? Why is it frowned upon for older people to dress young? These are some of the questions I’m asking myself now. Let me explain… My mother has always loved fashion. Her mother, my grandmother, and her aunt were seamstresses for the high society in Madrid, so my mom always wore the latest trends since my grandmother made all her clothes custom. Because of that, my mom always dressed very well, always perfectly coordinated from head to toe. And SHE NEVER THREW ANYTHING AWAY.

So, when we went to clear out her house in Madrid, I found wardrobes full of clothes, shoes, jewelry, scarves… everything. You wouldn’t believe how difficult it’s been (and still is) to decide what to give away, what to sell, and what to keep. There are vintage items, many of them from my grandmother, and I honestly don’t know what to do with them.

And now, here comes the caregiver part. Let’s see, when you take care of someone, especially when that person can no longer decide how to dress or can’t dress themselves, the caregiver has to do it for them. This is where I think I’m failing tremendously. My first problem is that my mom started losing weight years ago, and she’s very, very thin, so her clothes don’t fit her properly. I saved the few pieces I thought would work for her. The second issue is that she doesn’t go out much; she just goes for walks or occasionally we go out to eat or visit someone. For those occasions, I have several outfits that I think suit her, and for the rest of the time at home, I put her in the same comfortable outfits. But I think to myself: If she were really well mentally, what would she think about the outfits? Well, the other day when we went down to the pool, as we were going up in the elevator, she saw herself in the mirror and said, “Damn, look at how I’m dressed and how I’m styled. I look so ugly and old.” And that’s when I realized that, even though I think she looks fine, she still remembers how she used to be, and it seems that the looks I offer her aren’t really to her liking.

So, I’ll try to make a little more effort and see what more of her clothes I can rescue and dress her accordingly from time to time so she can look in the mirror and say, “That’s me.”